Nose to the grindstone

Life. Is. Very. Very. Very. Busy.  I could search for a few more descriptive words if you insist, but I think you get the point.

Here's the breakdown:

• 1 yo and 3 yo at home and into everything
• 1st and 2nd graders attending the local elementary school
• 7th, 8th and 10th graders attending a web academy, mostly from home
• 12th grader attending community college and living with my brother and his family

Don't forget Boy Scouts, Venturing, music lessons, various appointments, enrichment classes, library visits, groceries, laundry, dates and everything else that goes into life.

We have made some radical changes to our lifestyle with the goal of a year (or so) of rest for the mama. So far, that ain't happening. I'm tellin' ya- the meaningless busywork is killing me.  We have "logs" for everything from read aloud minutes to PE to math practice minutes.  Add journals and projects and you get rebellion.  From Mommy. The kids are coping much better than I am!

Actually, the mental rebellion started with grammar. When a predicate nominative walked into my kitchen and started giving orders, I pitched a fit.  My child was truly trying to get this concept that had not been covered AT ALL in our previous grammar curricula.  But understanding was elusive, and she was in tears.   Grammar should be a four letter word.  Hmph.  Since I had never met a predicate nominative before this school year, I felt confidant in claiming that she still had a chance, albeit small, at a successful and meaningful life.  Of course, I added that grammar develops character, and we can all use help in that department.  I'm not sure she agrees.

Where was I?  Oh, yes.  The sheer busyness of it all. It is as if we are launched into flight from the deck of an aircraft carrier each morning. From dead sleep to all go in a few beeps of the alarm.  The metaphor continues to fit quite nicely in the evenings, as we hook the children back out of busyness and into their beds.  All go to all stop.  Except, children don't really work that way and bedtime is painfully prolonged each night.

While my body is keeping up, changing diapers, fishing pirates out of toilets, helping with schoolwork, my mind isn't.  I recently heard rush hour traffic described as "creep and lurch", a phrase that seems to perfectly describe my mental capacity these days.  I'm okay on the basics, but creative or critical thinking don't come as easily. Most days I creep along and occasionally there's a lurch of progress.

That schedule I've been working on?  We've been limping along with trial schedule #1. I'm still trying to understand what is keeping us from function.  (I suspect there are flaws in both the schedule and its maker.) Here's what it currently looks like:

The chalkboard on our school wall has this motto emblazoned across it:

GOAL: FIND NORMAL

That might be the real problem.  Not where the kids are being educated.  Not that our schedule needs a complete overhaul.  Not that I am living in a fog. We just aren't far enough into our "new normal" yet.  The only answer for right now is "Hang in there!"

Hmmm.  That's not entirely true...our favorite parenting adage also fits.  "Try something, if that doesn't work, try something else. Repeat as needed."

The Nesting List

We keep mislaying the Nesting List. I would like to think it is accidental, but the smirks upon my children's faces as I wander about searching for it lead me to believe that it is a well-orchestrated assault on both my plans and my sanity. But, having lived longer, I am much more wily than they and to prove it, I am posting the list here, where it cannot be hidden by malingerers.

* denotes that the budget will dictate whether this item is completed

Living Room, Entry & Hall

• Paint trim
• Clean cold air returns
• Paint gray cold air return white
  
• Vacuum ceiling
• Detail dust shelves & display items
• Buy heater grates*
• Install ceiling light*
• Paint light fixtures*
• Clean light fixture glass
• Purge entry closet, set up with pantry shelving
• Vacuum lampshades
• "Dust" curtains using fluff cycle in dryer
• Clean window tracks
• Purge entertainment center, organize
  

Kitchen & Dining Room

• Clean garden window
• Clean behind frig and in cubby
• Wipe ceiling
  
• Vacuum frig coils
  
• Clean under stove plus stove drawer
• Clean out silverware drawer
• Purge knife drawer, get knife block or mag strip*
• Clean apron and legs of dining table
• Clean stickers off dining chairs
• Build drawers for window seat*
• Wash curtains
• Trim garden window and paint new trim
• Install new valance or blind at garden window*
• Wipe down insides of cupboards
• Wipe down display shelves
  
• Clean out frig and freezers
• Defrost outside freezer
• Fix exterior window trim so that window closes correctly
• Paint lower cabinets?
  

Homeschool Room

• Vacuum computer fan cabinet
• Purge sewing cabinet by completing projects (this may deserve as list of its own)
• Decide which clothing boxes go back in storage and which go to charity
• Hand-mop under cabinets
• 
  

Front Bathroom

• Wash curtain (delicate cycle, hang dry) and liner (with towels
• Purge drawers
• Purge cabinets
• Paint trim
• Clean light fixture glass
• Install new fan*
• 
  

Master Suite

• Vacuum mattress and flip/rotate
• Clean carpet
• Paint trim
• Caulk crown
• Vacuum lampshades
• Declutter top of armoire
• Purge pregnancy related books
• Wax /polish armoire
• Touch up spice-colored paint
• Move Nolan's clothes to Boy room
• Move changing table to our room
• Paint changing table and tighten screws
• Buy new changing table pad and covers*
  

Chores & Children part 1: A look in the mirror

*This is the first in a series on involving children in our housekeeping. I am teaching a class Feb. 18th and want to test drive my ideas here first.*

Those of you who know me in real life, know that my home isn't a model of perfection. I don't pretend that it is always tidy, uncluttered and clean. Quite the contrary! My house is overflowing with evidence that nine imperfect people LIVE here. We are nowhere near perfected, but we press on. What we do have are some habits that help us keep chaos and filth at bay.

We don't watch much TV, but I have seen those commercials with a person sitting or standing on a large red dot saying something along the lines of "You know that place where a house full of children meets I still have to keep things clean? Yeah. I'm there. I'm so there."

Let's look at some of the attitudes that hang out "there". This field guide to the modern housewife uses just a wee bit of exaggeration to make the illustration clearer. So read with a twinkle in your eye...

The Worker: this mom does most of the work around the house, and is more than a little frustrated that everyone takes her hard work for granted. A variation is the mom who assigns chores to her children only to redo them as soon as the kids are out of the room.

The Delegator: this mom gives plenty of orders and then scratches "housework" of her list with a happy sigh. Later, perhaps when her husband comes home or a neighbor pops in, she sees the mess and sighs sadly. It can't possibly be her fault that the house looks like this; she told the children to do their chores.

The Hostess: this mom becomes singularly focused and cracks her whip when company is coming. She might pull off an amazing stash-n-dash or get things in true apple pie order- finishing just as the guests ring the doorbell. Although she greets them with a smile, it's best not to ask her family about the frantic, harsh atmosphere leading up to the guests arrival.

The Decorator: this mom bemoans her outdated carpet or furniture or her inadequate storage, certain that a large remodeling budget would solve everything. She is completely oblivious to the fact that even pea-green shag looks better after vacuuming.

The Planner: this mom just knows that with a better system, another book, another storage tote- all her housecleaning and organization struggles will be solved. She is endlessly optimistic about each new system but her family is becoming jaded.


I don't know about you, but I have been each of these women at one point or another. You can probably relate to at least one. Leave a comment and let me know which mom, if any, you are. If you don't fit under one of these titles, feel free to coin a new phrase! No one is as shallow as these descriptions suggest, but acknowledging your tendencies will help you know which habits need your priority attention.

Keep an eye out for Part 2: A new attitude.

we've got trouble, right here in river city

*The management begs your pardon for the indelicacy of this post.*

We have had trouble all week with the... well, the toilet- to be blunt. It has repeatedly backed up, spilling its nasty contents all over the floor of the front bathroom. No amount of plunging or snaking has been able to clear the problem, and there was a rumor among the children that the situation wasn't due to "natural causes," if you know what I mean.

Today was the designated "deal with the problem" day. Bry bought a new wax seal last night in preparation. This morning, I confessed that this was one of those moments when I am glad I am a woman, happily ignorant of toilet mechanics and lacking the strength needed to muscle the porcelain throne off its pedestal. Bryan confessed that he would rather cozy up to a plugged toilet than face labor. We ended the conversation pleased with our respective gender roles.

So he drained the thing. Unbolted it from the floor and began investigating the depths.

He snaked it. He shook it. He prayed and pryed and finally retrieved this:

a ballpoint pen


It would appear that the rumors were true.
Ballpoint pens are not a naturally occurring phenomenon in toilets.


This leads us to the culprit:

He has apologized, but I am not convinced that he won't try again soon.

As I type, a sense of triumph prevails.


The plug is cleared. The throne reinstalled.
Three cheers for Daddy!
Hip hip hurrah!
Hip hip hurrah!
Hip hip hurrah!

I do so love being married to a man who can fix almost anything!

Nesting update- 37+2 weeks

Today is my first day thinking again after a marathon freezer meal party last weekend.

I shopped on Friday, spending more in one trip than I ordinarily spend in a month. (I've been saving up for quite awhile.) Gavin came along as my "lifter."

Saturday, Bryan and I precooked and cut the meat.

• 15 lbs of ground beef
• 20 lbs of stew meat that became shredded beef
• 20 lbs of chicken breasts that became chicken breast filets
• 10 lbs of chicken that we simply cooked, cooled and chopped

Sunday, the girls and I cleaned the house and prepared a buffet of tea, salads, fruit & brie and sandwiches in preparation for "THE PARTY." Shortly after 1 p.m., my mom and 2 sisters-in-law arrived. We ate our lunches, chatted and I went over the plans for the afternoon.

Then we rolled up our sleeves and got to work. In 4.5 hours we packaged up 53 meals for my family to enjoy after the baby is born. Amazing, yes? Wonderful, if you ask me. I am incredibly grateful for the loving hands that helped me get this all done.

It's official

I am nesting.

With 5 weeks until I am due, the hormones have kicked things up to the next notch. My family thinks I am going for "suicide by housework."

"Not so," I insist, looking up from the floor while scrubbing the kitchen cabinets.

"Absolutely not," spoken emphatically while I wrestle the refrigerator into the center of the room, or paint the bedroom, or clean the ceiling fan, or rearrange the cupboards.

Of course, the reality of it all sets in after dinner each night. I am extraordinarily sore, more than a little grumpy and exhausted. This is not as easy at 30+ with baby #7 as it was at 18 with #1.

The house is looking good. That list is getting shorter, but the "sewing to be accomplished before the baby arrives" list is still quite long. Can someone tell me how to funnel these blasted hormones towards material productivity?

things that don't clean themselves

Just popping in to say that I am enjoying a glorious few days of some early spring cleaning and I have noticed a few things.

1. Peanut butter and jelly jars need wiped off every time they are used. Salad dressings frequently need to be cleaned before reentering the frig. The worst offender in this category is honey. The kids need to be constantly reminded on this one, otherwise we end up with sticky cupboards and frig shelves. Nothing like the sound of stickily breaking suction as you pull the honey out to add a dollop to your tea. Shudder.

2. Appliances also have to be wiped after use. The blender base gets gross quickly without attention. This rule applies to everything from mixers to vacuums. Children do not naturally know this rule. Neither do husbands. I shared this concept with my dh last week and he gave me a look of shocked revelation. He wasn't purposefully neglecting this task, it just didn't occur to him that white appliances don't stay white and shiny on their own.

3. Window tracks or slides are particularly nasty after a long muddy winter. Especially if you have a dog who like to put his filthy paws on the back window and look longingly inside. Even the windows without doggy debris are dusty and perhaps a bit mildewy at this time of year. Clorox wipes or similar and a butter knife make this task much easier. And my white vinyl windows look so much nicer after some detailing.

I don't remember my mother instructing me to clean these items, but as a homemaker I have definitely noticed that they don't take care of themselves. My kids are getting a detail oriented, control freak version of homemaker training. Not that I am a great housekeeper, but the lessons I have accumulated are GOING to be passed on to the next generation.

Double Standards

True confessions time. At our house there are two standards for clean. First there is "everyday while we are trying do homeschool" clean and then there is "company clean".

Tonight the house has to be company clean since we are celebrating 3 birthdays (Gavin, 12th; Sirena, 10th and Sarah, 4th), which means that 25 or so family members will be crowding into my home. Unfortunately our starting point for company clean didn't even meet everyday clean. We are still trying to catch up all those little chores that get left behind when 1)a stomach bug hits 2)the taxes need filed and 3)your toddler's favorite activity is imitating a hurricane. Those 3 events pretty well summarize the month of October for us.

So I have been the ogre-mother today. Standing over my children with my verbal whip, "encouraging" them to greater speed at their chores. We have made good progress, even with hurricane Mason at category 3. It is really necessary to devote one person to his care. Mara is really the only child in the family stong-willed enough to tackle the job. He is just far more stubborn that the next 3 down the line, and he is outright dangerous to Sadie.

*rabbit trail* Lest you think that we don't discipline often enough or consistently enough, let me assure you that we try. Mara was a handful and, being our first, got away with far too much. We just didn't know what to do. The next four children were much easier and, in my arrogance, I thought it had something to do with our parenting methods and increased experience. I actually made comments like, "If Mara had been born now, it would be completely different since we know what to do now." HA! We do know what to do, but that hasn't made our strong willed child any easier to tame.

Back to ogre-mother. The kids keep looking around and saying, "Wow! The house looks great!" Of course, I see all the things left yet undone. At heart, I am a "glass is half empty" person and I have mostly "glass is half full" kids. You know what? It's good for me. I need to look around and appreciate the progress, not just on the house but in life. I know that perfection is unattainable but that I should most definitely aspire to progress. So parenting stretches me, developing my character alongside my organizational skills. I learn to be more disciplined and more gentle. Add in bright smiles and bedtime kisses and who could ask for anything more?

Recovery

I am still hobbling along. These days are better than the days right after my injury, but the pain is still nearly constant. I look back at life "before" and wonder what I did with all that pain-free time. Why wasn't I conquering the world?

Our home was just barely recovering from my down time when we decided to put down new flooring. The floors are gorgeous but the chaos atop them is not. Putting in new flooring is just about like moving. Everything must be removed, stored and then replaced. I am using this as an opportunity to cull the clutter which has been slowly and insidiously taking over our home. So far we have filled our 15 passenger van for a delivery to Goodwill and another pile of donations is growing next my garage door. VOA comes tomorrow to pick up that pile. Our garbage bill will be atrociously high this month as we have set out extra bags and made several trips to the dump. Why was I keeping all this stuff?

Clutter increases itself exponentially whenever you turn your back or blink your eyes. I have learned, again, that I need to be constantly culling or it will take over.

"I will be mistress of my own home!" said with an emphatic stamp of the foot.